Historical Stats & Info
www.hoosfootball.com is not affiliated with or endorsed by the University of Virginia.
All photographs on this site  are the property of the respective copyright owners. They
are presented here solely for educational and/or editorial purposes and may not be
reproduced for any other purpose.
Copyright © 2008   www.hoosfootball.com   All Rights Reserved
Random Musings
Rick "Doc" Walker's verbal dexterity and semantic genius are well-documented.  His
significant gifts were once again on full display during Raycom's telecast of last Saturday's
Virginia - Georgia Tech game, during which Doc summed up Nate Collins' recent string of
strong performances by breathlessly comparing him to...a unicorn.

Now, I fully admit that I'm not qualified to tell Doc his business. Unlike Doc, I didn't play in the
NFL, nor am I a trained medical professional.  However, I respectfully submit that the unicoron
comparison was a rare misstep for Captain Hyperbole, as it failed to convey just how dominant
Collins has been of late. If you don't believe me, here's the tale of the tape:   
Man vs. Wild
Unicorns subsist on plant life that
is no longer living.
Nate Collins subsists on a steady
diet of running backs.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Unicorns have shimmering hair,
especially when exposed to
Nate Collins' hair shimmers at all
times, even when hidden under
his football helmet.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Unicorns are extraordinarily swift
of foot.
Nate Collins has never been
outrun by a unicorn.
Advantage: Nate Collins
According to legend, the only
way to capture a unicorn was
for a virgin to wait alone in a
place where unicorns were
known to be found; upon seeing
the virgin, the unicorn would run
up and lay its head in her lap, at
which point it would be captured
by hunters hiding nearby.
Virgins don't capture Nate Collins.
Unless Nate Collins wants them to.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Unicorns are careful not to tread
on even the tiniest living thing.
Nate Collins tramples everything in
his path.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Unicorns can run silently through
the forest.
Nate Collins doesn't run silently.
Nate Collins
wants you to know
he's coming.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Unicorn horns neutralize poison.
Nate Collins neutralizes opposing
Advantage: Nate Collins
Symbol of...
Unicorns are symbols of purity
and faithfulness.
Nate Collins doesn't symbolize
anything. He's too busy kicking
your ass.
Advantage: Nate Collins
Final Tally: Nate Collins 8, Unicorns 0
Bookmark and Share